Key 2: Learn from your Losses

What I Learned from the 13 State Championships I did not Win

Right now, it appears that as a high school cheer coach, I am on a roll. In December 2022 because of my team's incredible performance and demonstration of true perseverance, I am humbled to be a six-time State Championship cheer coach.  This one was my fourth in a row as a coach (two different schools 2019-2022). I am still a bit in shock.  

As I look over my years taking teams to State as a coach and/or choreographer, I have to credit the 13 State Championships I did NOT win that positioned me as a coach to be successful in the future. 

The following are all deeper principles that I have applied to my life and it gives me a much greater perspective when preparing my team to compete or for any performance.  Coaching, especially when I didn’t win, helped teach me the importance of these principles.  

1. Your identity is not in being a coach. 
2. Your value is not determined by a trophy. 
3. Your impact as a coach is not based on wins and losses.

Your identity is not in being a coach. 

Who are you?  You might say you are a cheer coach, a parent, a (fill in the blank with your job).  What happens if the titles and positions you have are taken away?  Will your identity be taken away?  While coaching is a huge part of me and who I am, it is not my sole identity. For me, my identity is in my faith and so much of my life is devoted to my faith. My identity is being a person to inspire others to be the best they can be, even through adversity. Even if my positions and titles were taken away, my identity does not go away because it can’t be taken away. 

Your value is not determined by a trophy. 

To further dig into your identity, determine what makes you valuable.  You are not valuable because of your competition wins or what you achieve.  You are valuable because of who you are.  Think about how your character benefits your team, your co-workers, your family, and your friends. Are you patient? Focused? A great communicator?  When you look at your character and what makes you valuable, then your accomplishments do not make you valuable. You are already valuable.  And, when you come up short, it does not devalue you who you are as a person. 

Your impact as a coach is not based on wins and losses.

A sister of a cheerleader I coached reached out to me to tell me about the hard time her sister was going through. She then told me about the impact I made on her life.  I don’t say this to build myself up.  I say this because she was on a team that had a lot of success, including winning State and being a State runner up.  Our competition success is not what my former cheerleaders remember the most and talk to me about.  It is always about something they learned, or how their character was developed and how they have applied their experience as a cheerleader to their current life.  You have an impact in ways that you may not even realize. Sometimes it may take years to really understand the impact you have. On those days when coaching is difficult or the times a competition does not go as planned, remember your impact as a coach has a long-term and lifelong impact.  

For Reflection

Being a great coach requires intentional time for self-reflection.

Take some time to do the following and journal about it:

1. Determine your identity and your purpose.  These important definitions cannot be tied to your title or position. 
2. What makes you valuable?  What character qualities do you possess that can be applied to any situation?
3. Outside of cheerleading skills, list what you have taught your teams and consider the impact you have had on their lives.